Job seekers, you hear it daily, “Network to get the job.” An oversimplification because really, networking is the start to building a relationship. Don’t waste your time “speed networking“, handing out your card and blurting out your spiel to anyone with a pulse. That’s the equivalent of randomly applying to jobs on-line.

Forget about yourself and listen. This is counter-intuitive, yet true. And it works just like sex. People can be incredibly sexually satisfied when they become more aware of their partner.

Get your business cards in order and a firm handshake ready. With these 3 questions you can determine who is interesting and worth keeping in touch with:

1. What are you interested in?
2. What are you excited about these days?
3. What are you looking for?

Asking questions puts the other person at ease because you are not another pushy networker and you are interested in what they have to say. Who doesn’t like to talk about their interests and passions? While you’re listening to the answers, process how much you have in common personally, professionally and whether it’s worth continuing the conversation.

Don’t get stuck in “go nowhere” conversations or “grip and grin” speed events. Be curious and end up with a mutual, relevant network.