Indulging Your Inner Rebel Without Getting Your Ass Fired

How much fun is it to be saddled with 3 times the work after seeing your friends and colleagues herded into a conference room for a lay-off presentation (complete with 3-ring binder door prize)? Are you wondering who’s really in charge because your supposed leader is hiding in his office crying like a baby?

Welcome to “Surviving Your Job”!  The chapter of your career that makes you wish you’d get fired because if the situation persists long enough, you will be. After which it will be much harder to answer the question, “What do you do?” (www.careerealism.com has a compelling piece on this)

Here’s how to survive your job with a bit of grace and smarts:

• Avoid anyone who says, ”At least you have a job. You should be grateful.” The exception is your grandmother. Grandmothers get to say whatever they want.
• Unleash your inner rebel. <dramatic pause>

“Who is this rebel you speak of? What powers does she possess?”  

Ahh, curious cube-worker, each of us has one. This is the part of you that wants to time the i-fart app to go off just as your micro-managing team leader is taking credit for your work. When pushed to the edge, sleep-deprived and miserable, the rebel takes no prisoners, including your career. 

“How do I find this inner rebel of which you speak?”

Follow the devilish grin. Now the hard part. Pick 3 ways that you can feel rebellious, but not harm your career (no physical harm, violent words). My clients are brilliant. Here are some tactics they came up with and successfully executed without detection:

• Throw out empty soda cans in bosses trash.
• When chained to desk, go outside for a walk.
• Ask boss to talk to super-annoying client by saying, “You’re really gifted at making clients feel good.”
• Don’t get on BlackBerry or e-mail before getting to work (more on this later)
• Find an image that represents you as overwhelmed, unhappy employee and keep it in your desk. Pull it out when to reach your limit (e.g. Rancor from Star Wars, Hideous Lizard, Gurgling Tar Pit)
• Make a list of what you hate about work, and change at least 1 of those things (here’s a common one: stand up for yourself in a meeting or situation).

See the trend? The act of rebellion itself matters less than getting your thoughts to a place where you feel in control and can abruptly cease the descent into uncontrollable rage.

How do you indulge your inner rebel?